Baby girl, you're so beautiful.

I plan to be boy drama free for the rest of my senior year and I'm very pleased with my decision. I told Christian if I ever am tempted to get a boyfriend this year, he needs to slap me (fuck buddies don't count, ROFL). High school relationships are not worth my time. Okay, I know I promised myself I wouldn't have a boyfriend my sophomore year and I ended up getting one anyways but this time IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!! I really do believe patience pays off :)

I'm going to LA during the Labor Day Weekend with Luci and I'm quite excited. There's a tennis game tomorrow and I'm going to miss it because of the LA trip. Eh, fuck it. I gotta get out of this place for a little. Whateva whateva, I do what I want! Haha.

Speaking of tennis, I am actually pretty excited for this season. It doesn't really matter to me if we win league or not. I really do like playing. God, it's like I have a love-hate relationship with tennis. Also, it keeps me in shape. Considering that I spent most of my summer sitting on my ass, tennis is a good thing.

Before accomplishing any of my other goals, my main goal is to build up my self-confidence. So far, I feel like I have been improving. I was feeling quite depressed a few weeks ago but with the help of talking to people I care about the most and the power of music, that has all changed. I know I can't change the things I was depressed about but I really do believe things will work out. I have been listening to music that doesn't really remind me of anything yet makes me really happy. And the thought of graduation has been keeping me going.

I got Skullcandy Smokin' Buds headphones a few days ago and I love them. For the price, it's pretty damn good. I have a feeling they won't last very long but most headphones I get never do, so it's nothing new.

The only thing constant in this world is change.

I'm eight school days into my senior year. Exciting. Yet I'm still listening to summer mixes. Go figure.

This year's schedule:
1 - Leadership
2 - Physics
3 - TA for Geometry
4 - AP English Lang/Comp
5 - Economics/Fed. Gov
6 - AP Calculus AB

I would've taken Honors Econ/AP Gov but it was only offered 6th period. AP Calc AB/AP Calc BC are only offered 6th as well. Whatever, less summer homework for me to do. Honestly, I would've chosen Honors Econ because I don't really care for math. I still don't know why I chose AP Calc. Apparently, four years of math looks better on apps. Apps are probably the only reason why I'm doing shit. Otherwise, if it were up to me I'd take bullshit classes and stay home after school. I don't even know why I bother with AP/Honors classes. I'm the biggest fucking slacker known to man. I miss AP Art History though. They're going on another trip but this time they're going to London and Paris. I WANT TO GO SO BADLY, but I'm probably going to end up going to the Philippines with the family. I really do love the motherland and I want to see my relatives but I've never been to London and/or Paris before and dammit, I've always wanted to go. I can figure all that out later, but I have to focus on not fucking up this year.

I don't know how I feel about tennis this year. There is a really big part of me that doesn't want to play and the rest of me kinda wants to play (but that part is very little). I feel like I have to play though. If I didn't people would be chasing me down like last year. I hate it. But being on the team has done so much for me that I have to do my part by being a part of it. Honestly, I'm not really that into it anymore. I get tired of a lot of things easily. I lost my love of playing two years ago. I only played my junior year to help me out with college apps. You can't really explain why you're not into certain things anymore. It just happens. I remember how after not playing after only two days or just seeing other people play, I'd be longing to play. It's not like that anymore. Yesterday, I told Tony I wouldn't be playing for a little bit because there are a lot of things going on in my life and my mind isn't in the right place right now. Along with my lack of passion, it's been affecting the way I've been playing.

During the past week, I've broke down over the stupidest (yes, I know that isn't a word), littlest things. I had a talk with someone and they told me things could be a lot worse and yeah, it is true. But fuck, I'm human. I'm self-centered, immature, and flawed but I'm not afraid to admit that. Knowing me, if something sucks in my life then I will fucking mope over it for however long it takes me. And right now is my moping time. I'm not going to keep moping. Of course I have to do something about it and it'll take time to get everything right.

Our first rally was on Friday. What a waste of time. The whole Hawaiian theme is so overdone and it makes me want to stab my eyes out. And it sucked because Christian is a junior and I'm a senior. Each grade gets assigned seating and the juniors were on the other side of us. So I got stuck with people I don't really care for. I'm pretty sure it's going to be like this all year. Why, oh why can't he be a senior?! Blah. Our school is planning to make separate proms for juniors and seniors. Fuck that. NO ONE CAN SEPARATE ME FROM THE DAMIAN TO MY JANIS IAN. Hearing "Paper Planes" (by M.I.A.) playing was quite surprising. If I hear another person call that song "The Pineapple Express Song", I will cut a bitch. Good Lord. That was my song last summer anyways. It's funny how a year later, everyone now is all like OMG M.I.A. YEAH especially people I can't stand. The first time I listened to her, it was cool because she was kinda like a "hidden gem" but now pretty much everyone knows about her but she's getting that paper so good for her.

Hmm, what else? Olympics are ending soon and that makes me sad. The delayed coverage pissed me off for a while (because I was constantly being spoiled, boo East Coasters) but I didn't seem to mind it afterwards. I come for the competition, I stay for the hotties. Eamon Sullivan and Alexandre Despatie are welcome in my pants anytime. I am very attracted to Ryan Lochte but when he opens his mouth, the attraction is gone for a while. And I can't forget about Phelps. 8 gold medals, goodness. From what I've heard he's a douche. I hope he really isn't because I really do want to like him. Then there are the 10-year-old Chinese gymnasts or whatever. I don't care what anyone says, I love Cheng Fei. I love Nastia the most though. I know a lot of people don't like her because she looks bitchy or whatever, but I think she's amazing. I don't really care for Shawn Johnson though. I don't know. Oh, there's this guy on the USA men's gymnastics team that looks like Prince Harry. All I have to say is YES PLZ. Our beach volleyball teams are amazing. I could ramble on about the Olympics all day, really.

Really cliché teenager-ish thing to say but I feel so misunderstood all the damn time. It's mainly my fault because I don't really open up to people verbally and I'm horrible at verbalizing my problems. I'm glad I have blogs and all that because I'm able to put all the things (the way I want to) I'm not comfortable telling people.

Hm, I don't really know what else to put. I miss My Boo. A lot.

Oh, I got a Moleskine planner a few weeks ago and I love it. I've been decorating it. It's lots of fun, really.

Wow, it's been a while since I've last updated this thing.

So I'm a senior now. I don't know how to feel about that, but I am really looking forward to making a fresh start and leaving all this high school BS behind.